Sensational Quotes about
Popular Gambling and Betting Quotes and Sayings By Loot, Sports Handicapper, Lootmeister.com 'Any man who watches three straight football games should be declared legally dead.'-author Erma Bombeck 'Quit while you're ahead.
Gambling for Smart People
First Top-10 List of Sensational
Gambling Quotes and Gambling Tips
- Funny Gambling Quotes. GENERAL 'Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.' — Unknown 'I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.' — Steve Allen 'The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.' — Ambrose Bierce.
- Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something – Wilson Mizner. Money won is twice as sweet as money earned – From the movie The Color of Money. Don't get mad that you lost, get mad because you didn't win – Michael Gersitz. Part of it went on gambling, and part of it went on women. The rest I spent foolishly – George Raft.
- Discover and share Funny Gambling Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.
#1 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.
— Jack Yelton
#2 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Look around the table. If you don't see a sucker, get up, because you are the sucker.
— Ararillo Slim (Thomas Austin Preston, Jr.)
#3 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
— Oscar Wilde
#4 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich — something for nothing.
— George Bernard Shaw
#5 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
How to win at gambling: Lay off for a few weeks, and then quit for good.
— Unknown wise person
#6 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
The probability of winning is inversely proportional to the amount of the wager.
— Las Vegas proverb
#7 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing.
— French Proverb
#8 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
People who can afford to gamble don't need money, and those who need money can't afford to gamble.
— Unknown wise non-gambler
#9 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Nobody has ever bet enough on the winning horse.
— Unknown wise person
#10 of Top-10 Sensational Quotes about Gambling
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
— Canada Bill Jones
Second Top-Ten List of SensationalGambling
Quotes and Gambling Tips for Smart People Lucky and wild.
#1 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
By gaming we lose both our time and treasure — two things most precious to the life of man.
— Owen Felltham
#2 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
The safest bet is the one you didn't make.
— Unknown wise gambler
#3 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on.
— Robert Frost
#4 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Catchy Gambling Phrases
No one has more faith than the person who plays a slot machine in the hope of avoiding work altogether.
— Unknown wise non-gambling person
#5 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
He who hopes to win what belongs to another deserves to lose.
— Unknown sane person
#6 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
I have to confess that I had gambled on my soul and lost it with heroic insouciance and lightness of touch. The soul is so impalpable, so often useless, and sometimes such a nuisance, that I felt no more emotion on losing it than if, on a stroll, I had mislaid my visiting card.
— Charles Baudelaire, The Generous Gambler
#7 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Never bet on a sure thing unless you can afford to lose.
— Unknown careful gambler
#8 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.
— Richard Feynman
#9 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
If you are going to bluff, make it a big one.
— Amarillo Slim
#10 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.
— Mark Twain
More SensationalQuotes aboutGambling
and Gambling Tips for Smart People
Life is like a poker game. You deal or are dealt to. Your success depends on skill, luck, and creativity. You bet, check, bluff, and raise. Your education comes from those you play with. Sometimes, you win with a pair or lose with a full house. But whatever happens, it pays to keep a sense of humor.
— Anon
The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well.
— H. T. Leslie
It's interesting and somewhat dismaying how many people will look up to anyone who wins a multimillion-dollar lottery — but will deride anyone who has worked either hard or smart to attain prosperity and real success.
— from 101 Really Important Things You Already Know, But Keep Forgetting
Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. Flos diner game.
— Gracian
When a man tells me he's going to put all his cards on the table, I always look up his sleeve.
— Lord Leslie Hore-Belisha
Las Vegas is a place where people go broke trying to get rich.
— Unknown wise ex-gambler
Never gamble in heavy traffic. The cars may be stacked against you.
— Unknown wise person
Alimony: A gambling debt.
— Unknown former gambling person
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
— Gloria Steinem
The three biggest dreams of many men is to outsmart women, casinos, and reality.
— Anonymous observant gambling man
It may be that the race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong-but that's the way to bet.
— Damon Runyon
No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.
— Earl Wilson
I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay — away from it.
— Paula Poundstone
When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.
— Dean Martin
If you want to cure a compulsive gambler, give him the Atlanta Falcons and four points.
— Paul Lynde
If you think that going to the casino is the only interesting thing to do in your retirement, you haven't read How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free, which has not only a lot of retirement quotes but incredible retirement wisdom that you won't receive from your financial advisor.
— Wise retiree
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
— Finley Peter Dunne
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
— Grantland Rice
Grantland Rice can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.
— Gene Autry
It is not whether you win or lose, but who gets the blame.
— Blaine Nye
'How you play the game' is for college boys. When you're playing for money, winning is the only thing that counts.
— Leo Durocher
Don't play for safety — it's the most dangerous thing in the world.
— Hugh Walpole
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
— Mark Twain
This [gambling revenue] raises a serious ethical question for government and charities that collect and use this money . . . .
50 percent of all gambling revenue that charities and goverment get comes from problem gamblers. The purpose of government is to serve the vulnerable, not exploit them.
— Prof. Robert Williams, Gambling Research Institute
If all gambling were illegal, we would all have to stop driving cars and getting married.
— Unknown wise person
Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
— Nelson Algren
Make a bet every day, otherwise you might walk around lucky and never know it.
— Jimmy Jones
Gambling is like diving into an empty swimming pool. The chances that you'll hit bottom are about the same.
— Unknown wise person
A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.
— William Bolitho
Winning a Lottery:The Retirement Planwith the Most Bugs to Be Worked Out
—RetirementAdvice on The Retirement Cafe
No wife can endure a gambling husband — unless he's a steady winner.
— Thomas Robert Dewar
The gambling know as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling
— Ambrose Bierce
Most amusements only mean trying to win another person's money.
— Rudyard Kipling
Man is a gaming animal. He must be always trying to get the better in something or other.
— Charles Lamb
To play billiards well was a sign of an ill—spent youth.
— Herbert Spencer
In the fight between you and the world, bet on the world.
— Frank Zappa
I have a notion that gamblers are as happy as most people — being always excited.
— Lord Byron
Two-up is Australia's very own way of parting a fool and his money.
— Germaine Greer
A real gentleman, even if he loses everything he owns, must show no emotion. Money must be so far beneath a gentleman that it is hardly worth troubling about.
— Feodor Dostoyevsky (1821-81), Russian novelist. The Gambler, ch. 2 (1866).
Nothing is sacred to a gamester.
— Bernard Joseph Saurin
Another great evil arising from this desire to be thought rich; or rather, from the desire not to be thought poor, is the destructive thing which has been honoured by the name of 'speculation'; but which ought to be called Gambling.
— William Cobbett, Advice to Young Men and to Young Women, Letter 2 in To a Young Man
Of all mechanics, of all servile handycrafts-men, a gamester is the vilest. But yet, as many of the quality are of the profession, he is admitted amongst the politest company.
— John Gay
To get it right, be born with luck or else make it. Never give up. A little money helps, but what really gets it right is to never face the facts.
— Ruth Gordon
The world is the house of the strong. I shall not know until the end what I have lost or won in this place, in this vast gambling den where I have spent more than sixty years, dicebox in hand, shaking the dice.
— Denis Diderot
The better the gambler, the worse the man.
— Publius Syrus
There is in Hollywood, as in all cultures in which gambling is the central activity, a lowered sexual energy, an inability to devote more than token attention to the preoccupations of the society outside. The action is everything, more consuming than sex, more immediate than politics; more important always than the acquisition of money, which is never, for the gambler, the true point of the exercise.
— Joan Didion
Treat a horse like a woman and a woman like a horse. And they'll both win for you.
— Elizabeth Arden
Insurance. An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
— Ambrose Bierce
Because people have no thoughts to deal in, they deal cards, and try and win one another's money. Idiots!
— Arthur Schopenhauer
He was . . . a degenerate gambler. That is, a man who gambled simply to gamble and must lose. As a hero who goes to war must die. Show me a gambler and I'll show you a loser, show me a hero and I'll show you a corpse.
— Mario Puzo
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
— Kin Hubbard
I have a notion that gamblers are as happy as most people, being always excited; women, wine, fame, the table, even ambition, sate now & then, but every turn of the card & cast of the dice keeps the gambler alive — besides one can game ten times longer than one can do any thing else.
— Lord Byron
I have to confess that I had gambled on my soul and lost it with heroic insouciance and lightness of touch. The soul is so impalpable, so often useless, and sometimes such a nuisance, that I felt no more emotion on losing it than if, on a stroll, I had mislaid my visiting card.
— Charles Baudelaire
It [gambling] is the child of avarice, the brother of iniquity, and the father of mischief.
— George Washington
The most dangerous wheel of chance is the steering wheel.
— Unknown wise individual
A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.
— Unknown wise person
Gambling is pretty much like liquor; you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.
— Unknown wise person
Every prosperous person who does not work has a creative scheme that does.
— John Otway
Some people will gamble on anything. Now they're saving money with the hope that it'll be worth something someday.
— Unknown wise individual
In a bet there is a fool and a thief.
— Unknown wise former gambler
The best throw of the dice is to throw them away.
— Unknown wise ex-gambler
Gambling is just plain stealing by mutual consent.
— Unknown wise person
You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it.
— Albert Einstein
Las Vegas has all kinds of gambling devices, such as dice, roulette, slot machines — and wedding chapels.
— Unknown wise person
It is hard to decide whether gambling is a means of getting something for nothing or nothing for something.
— Unknown wise person
The first time a man bets he bets to win. The rest of the time he's trying to get even.
— Unknown wise person
Gamblers are like toilets — broke one day and flush the next.
— Unknown wise person
Many people are violently opposed to gambling for the simple reason that they can never win anything at it.
— Unknown wise person
I had always been facinated by the bizarre world of cards. It was a world of pure power politics where rewards and punishments were meted out immediately.
— Ely Culbertson
Drunks are rarely amusing unless they know some good songs and lose a lot at poker.
— Karl Roosevelt
Playing with dice is a shaky business.
— Unknown wise person
The young people of the United States squander over ten billion dollars a year on games of chance. This does not include weddings, starting a business, passing cars on a hill, or buying a television set.
— Unknown wise person
There is no thrill in gambling unless you are betting more than you can afford to lose.
— Unknown not-so-wise gambler
You do not really make money in the stock market.
You merely take it from somebody who guessed wrong.
— Unknown wise person
Horse sense is what keeps' horses from betting on what people will do.
— Unknown wise person
Gambling is frequently a means of getting nothing for your money.
— Unknown wise person
All forms of gambling are frowned upon by preachers — except marriage.
— Unknown wise person
A casino slot machine is a steel trap for catching dumb animals.
— Unknown wise non-gambler
The worst evil of gambling is that the odds are always with the house or the horse.
— Unknown wise person
If it weren't for betting on horses, some people wouldn't contribute to anything.
— Unknown gambling man
Sir, I do not call a gamester a dishonest man; but I call him an unsocial man, an unprofitable man. Gaming is a mode of transferring property without producing any intermediate good.
— Samuel Johnson
A visitor to Las Vegas received the 'cook's tour' — he was baked in the sun, stewed at the bar, and burned at the crap tables.
— Unknown wise person
The dumbest criminal on earth is the one who would hold up a group of tourists on their way home from Las Vegas after their first encounter with casinos.
— Unknown wise person
Las Vegas has all kinds of gambling devices, such as dice, roulette, slot machines — and wedding chapels.
— Unknown wise person
A Texas man reports he had terrible luck in Las Vegas. He lost everything he had but his cold.
— Unknown wise person
Visitors to Las Vegas are divided into two groups — the haves and the hads.
— Unknown wise person
Las Vegas is where you go the first time for fun — and the second time for revenge.
— Unknown wise person
A gentleman in Nashville described his last Las Vegas vacation, 'Out by jet. Back in debt.'
— Unknown wise person
Almost everybody gets married while they're in Las Vegas. They figure as long as they're on a losing streak they might as well go all the way.
— Unknown observant wise person
In case of an air raid, go to the nearest slot machine. It hasn't been hit in years.
— Unknown wise person
Why not spend your vacation in Las Vegas? You can't beat the sunshine, the climate, or the slot machines.
— Unknown wise person
A Texan, just back home from a Nevada vacation, says he underwent a bit of 'Las Vegas Surgery'. He had his bankroll painlessly removed.
— Unknown wise person
Life is a gamble at terrible odds — if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.
— Tom Stoppard
By gaming we lose both our time and treasure — two things most precious to the life of man.
— Owen Felltham
#2 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
The safest bet is the one you didn't make.
— Unknown wise gambler
#3 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on.
— Robert Frost
#4 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Catchy Gambling Phrases
No one has more faith than the person who plays a slot machine in the hope of avoiding work altogether.
— Unknown wise non-gambling person
#5 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
He who hopes to win what belongs to another deserves to lose.
— Unknown sane person
#6 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
I have to confess that I had gambled on my soul and lost it with heroic insouciance and lightness of touch. The soul is so impalpable, so often useless, and sometimes such a nuisance, that I felt no more emotion on losing it than if, on a stroll, I had mislaid my visiting card.
— Charles Baudelaire, The Generous Gambler
#7 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Never bet on a sure thing unless you can afford to lose.
— Unknown careful gambler
#8 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.
— Richard Feynman
#9 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
If you are going to bluff, make it a big one.
— Amarillo Slim
#10 of Top-Ten Sensational Quotes about Gambling
Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.
— Mark Twain
More SensationalQuotes aboutGambling
and Gambling Tips for Smart People
Life is like a poker game. You deal or are dealt to. Your success depends on skill, luck, and creativity. You bet, check, bluff, and raise. Your education comes from those you play with. Sometimes, you win with a pair or lose with a full house. But whatever happens, it pays to keep a sense of humor.
— Anon
The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well.
— H. T. Leslie
It's interesting and somewhat dismaying how many people will look up to anyone who wins a multimillion-dollar lottery — but will deride anyone who has worked either hard or smart to attain prosperity and real success.
— from 101 Really Important Things You Already Know, But Keep Forgetting
Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. Flos diner game.
— Gracian
When a man tells me he's going to put all his cards on the table, I always look up his sleeve.
— Lord Leslie Hore-Belisha
Las Vegas is a place where people go broke trying to get rich.
— Unknown wise ex-gambler
Never gamble in heavy traffic. The cars may be stacked against you.
— Unknown wise person
Alimony: A gambling debt.
— Unknown former gambling person
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
— Gloria Steinem
The three biggest dreams of many men is to outsmart women, casinos, and reality.
— Anonymous observant gambling man
It may be that the race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong-but that's the way to bet.
— Damon Runyon
No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.
— Earl Wilson
I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay — away from it.
— Paula Poundstone
When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.
— Dean Martin
If you want to cure a compulsive gambler, give him the Atlanta Falcons and four points.
— Paul Lynde
If you think that going to the casino is the only interesting thing to do in your retirement, you haven't read How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free, which has not only a lot of retirement quotes but incredible retirement wisdom that you won't receive from your financial advisor.
— Wise retiree
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
— Finley Peter Dunne
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
— Grantland Rice
Grantland Rice can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.
— Gene Autry
It is not whether you win or lose, but who gets the blame.
— Blaine Nye
'How you play the game' is for college boys. When you're playing for money, winning is the only thing that counts.
— Leo Durocher
Don't play for safety — it's the most dangerous thing in the world.
— Hugh Walpole
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
— Mark Twain
This [gambling revenue] raises a serious ethical question for government and charities that collect and use this money . . . .
50 percent of all gambling revenue that charities and goverment get comes from problem gamblers. The purpose of government is to serve the vulnerable, not exploit them.
— Prof. Robert Williams, Gambling Research Institute
If all gambling were illegal, we would all have to stop driving cars and getting married.
— Unknown wise person
Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
— Nelson Algren
Make a bet every day, otherwise you might walk around lucky and never know it.
— Jimmy Jones
Gambling is like diving into an empty swimming pool. The chances that you'll hit bottom are about the same.
— Unknown wise person
A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.
— William Bolitho
Winning a Lottery:The Retirement Planwith the Most Bugs to Be Worked Out
—RetirementAdvice on The Retirement Cafe
No wife can endure a gambling husband — unless he's a steady winner.
— Thomas Robert Dewar
The gambling know as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling
— Ambrose Bierce
Most amusements only mean trying to win another person's money.
— Rudyard Kipling
Man is a gaming animal. He must be always trying to get the better in something or other.
— Charles Lamb
To play billiards well was a sign of an ill—spent youth.
— Herbert Spencer
In the fight between you and the world, bet on the world.
— Frank Zappa
I have a notion that gamblers are as happy as most people — being always excited.
— Lord Byron
Two-up is Australia's very own way of parting a fool and his money.
— Germaine Greer
A real gentleman, even if he loses everything he owns, must show no emotion. Money must be so far beneath a gentleman that it is hardly worth troubling about.
— Feodor Dostoyevsky (1821-81), Russian novelist. The Gambler, ch. 2 (1866).
Nothing is sacred to a gamester.
— Bernard Joseph Saurin
Another great evil arising from this desire to be thought rich; or rather, from the desire not to be thought poor, is the destructive thing which has been honoured by the name of 'speculation'; but which ought to be called Gambling.
— William Cobbett, Advice to Young Men and to Young Women, Letter 2 in To a Young Man
Of all mechanics, of all servile handycrafts-men, a gamester is the vilest. But yet, as many of the quality are of the profession, he is admitted amongst the politest company.
— John Gay
To get it right, be born with luck or else make it. Never give up. A little money helps, but what really gets it right is to never face the facts.
— Ruth Gordon
The world is the house of the strong. I shall not know until the end what I have lost or won in this place, in this vast gambling den where I have spent more than sixty years, dicebox in hand, shaking the dice.
— Denis Diderot
The better the gambler, the worse the man.
— Publius Syrus
There is in Hollywood, as in all cultures in which gambling is the central activity, a lowered sexual energy, an inability to devote more than token attention to the preoccupations of the society outside. The action is everything, more consuming than sex, more immediate than politics; more important always than the acquisition of money, which is never, for the gambler, the true point of the exercise.
— Joan Didion
Treat a horse like a woman and a woman like a horse. And they'll both win for you.
— Elizabeth Arden
Insurance. An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
— Ambrose Bierce
Because people have no thoughts to deal in, they deal cards, and try and win one another's money. Idiots!
— Arthur Schopenhauer
He was . . . a degenerate gambler. That is, a man who gambled simply to gamble and must lose. As a hero who goes to war must die. Show me a gambler and I'll show you a loser, show me a hero and I'll show you a corpse.
— Mario Puzo
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
— Kin Hubbard
I have a notion that gamblers are as happy as most people, being always excited; women, wine, fame, the table, even ambition, sate now & then, but every turn of the card & cast of the dice keeps the gambler alive — besides one can game ten times longer than one can do any thing else.
— Lord Byron
I have to confess that I had gambled on my soul and lost it with heroic insouciance and lightness of touch. The soul is so impalpable, so often useless, and sometimes such a nuisance, that I felt no more emotion on losing it than if, on a stroll, I had mislaid my visiting card.
— Charles Baudelaire
It [gambling] is the child of avarice, the brother of iniquity, and the father of mischief.
— George Washington
The most dangerous wheel of chance is the steering wheel.
— Unknown wise individual
A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.
— Unknown wise person
Gambling is pretty much like liquor; you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.
— Unknown wise person
Every prosperous person who does not work has a creative scheme that does.
— John Otway
Some people will gamble on anything. Now they're saving money with the hope that it'll be worth something someday.
— Unknown wise individual
In a bet there is a fool and a thief.
— Unknown wise former gambler
The best throw of the dice is to throw them away.
— Unknown wise ex-gambler
Gambling is just plain stealing by mutual consent.
— Unknown wise person
You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it.
— Albert Einstein
Las Vegas has all kinds of gambling devices, such as dice, roulette, slot machines — and wedding chapels.
— Unknown wise person
It is hard to decide whether gambling is a means of getting something for nothing or nothing for something.
— Unknown wise person
The first time a man bets he bets to win. The rest of the time he's trying to get even.
— Unknown wise person
Gamblers are like toilets — broke one day and flush the next.
— Unknown wise person
Many people are violently opposed to gambling for the simple reason that they can never win anything at it.
— Unknown wise person
I had always been facinated by the bizarre world of cards. It was a world of pure power politics where rewards and punishments were meted out immediately.
— Ely Culbertson
Drunks are rarely amusing unless they know some good songs and lose a lot at poker.
— Karl Roosevelt
Playing with dice is a shaky business.
— Unknown wise person
The young people of the United States squander over ten billion dollars a year on games of chance. This does not include weddings, starting a business, passing cars on a hill, or buying a television set.
— Unknown wise person
There is no thrill in gambling unless you are betting more than you can afford to lose.
— Unknown not-so-wise gambler
You do not really make money in the stock market.
You merely take it from somebody who guessed wrong.
— Unknown wise person
Horse sense is what keeps' horses from betting on what people will do.
— Unknown wise person
Gambling is frequently a means of getting nothing for your money.
— Unknown wise person
All forms of gambling are frowned upon by preachers — except marriage.
— Unknown wise person
A casino slot machine is a steel trap for catching dumb animals.
— Unknown wise non-gambler
The worst evil of gambling is that the odds are always with the house or the horse.
— Unknown wise person
If it weren't for betting on horses, some people wouldn't contribute to anything.
— Unknown gambling man
Sir, I do not call a gamester a dishonest man; but I call him an unsocial man, an unprofitable man. Gaming is a mode of transferring property without producing any intermediate good.
— Samuel Johnson
A visitor to Las Vegas received the 'cook's tour' — he was baked in the sun, stewed at the bar, and burned at the crap tables.
— Unknown wise person
The dumbest criminal on earth is the one who would hold up a group of tourists on their way home from Las Vegas after their first encounter with casinos.
— Unknown wise person
Las Vegas has all kinds of gambling devices, such as dice, roulette, slot machines — and wedding chapels.
— Unknown wise person
A Texas man reports he had terrible luck in Las Vegas. He lost everything he had but his cold.
— Unknown wise person
Visitors to Las Vegas are divided into two groups — the haves and the hads.
— Unknown wise person
Las Vegas is where you go the first time for fun — and the second time for revenge.
— Unknown wise person
A gentleman in Nashville described his last Las Vegas vacation, 'Out by jet. Back in debt.'
— Unknown wise person
Almost everybody gets married while they're in Las Vegas. They figure as long as they're on a losing streak they might as well go all the way.
— Unknown observant wise person
In case of an air raid, go to the nearest slot machine. It hasn't been hit in years.
— Unknown wise person
Why not spend your vacation in Las Vegas? You can't beat the sunshine, the climate, or the slot machines.
— Unknown wise person
A Texan, just back home from a Nevada vacation, says he underwent a bit of 'Las Vegas Surgery'. He had his bankroll painlessly removed.
— Unknown wise person
Life is a gamble at terrible odds — if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.
— Tom Stoppard
Life is a game at which everybody loses.
— Leo Sarkadi-Schuller
WEBSITE COPYRIGHT © 2011 by Ernie J. Zelinski
Gambling is, first and foremost, a form of entertainment. From the bells and whistles of the slot machines to the dazzling colors and shapes of table games, everything is designed to delight you.
Land-based casinos keep the party going with bars and restaurants with live music. If you're playing online, your excitement is growing bigger whenever you're being showered with loyalty points.
Casinos, it seems, both land-based and online, have found the cure for boredom.
While gambling has been notoriously associated with addiction, recent studies show that most players are addicted to the feeling of fun that comes with gambling. Medical researchers estimate that only 5 to 8 percent of all gamblers show evidence of addiction. Most of us are there to have a good time.
Maybe you simply love getting a buzz of excitement from playing Wheel of Fortune or Double Diamon. Perhaps you like the thrill provided by Russian roulette or you enjoy strategizing during Poker and Blackjack with a delicious cocktail in hand.
Winning might not be guaranteed in a casino, but that's exactly what makes you come back.
Comedian Chico Marx best explained this: 'If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if I win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun.'
Interestly enough, you tend to feel happy even when you're losing. Several studies discovered that losing money after visiting a casino doesn't make the overall experience less enjoyable. 'A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope.' – William Bolitho
Like Marx, many other famous figures had an opinion about gambling.
Most of them found humor in losing and the changing nature of luck.
'If there weren't luck involved, I would win every time,' said professional poker player, Phil Hellmuth.
We've gathered some of the funniest quotes about gambling from tens of notorious people including ancient philosophers like Publilius Syrus, scientists like Albert Einstein, and actors like Paul Newman.
Whether you're just dipping your toes into the gambling waters or you're a die-hard casino player, these lines will put a smile on your face.
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'Gambling is the future on the internet. You can only look at so many dirty pictures.' – Simon Noble
'You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.' – Wayne Gretzky
'Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster.'– Yugoslav Proverb
'Eat your betting money but don't bet your eating money.' – Unknown
'True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home.' – John Milton Hay
'The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.' – Wilson Mizner
'The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.' – Kin Hubbard
'Gambling is not a vice, it is an expression of our humanness. Harrahs casinos in florida. We gamble. Some do it at the gaming table, some do not. You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play.' – Jeanette Winterson
'The better the gambler, the worse the man.' – Publius Syrus
'The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip
was a genius.' – Julius Weintraub.
'Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.' –Samantha Bee
'It's hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you're on a losing one.' – Cara Bertoia
'Quit while you're ahead. All the best gamblers do.' – Baltasar Gracián y Morales
'A gambler never makes the same mistake twice. It's usually three or more times.' – Terry Murphy
'A gambler plays even when the odds are immutable and against him.' – Roger 'Lou Krieger' Lubin
'Sitting there, it is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!' ― James Hauenstein
'The greatest risk is not taking one.' – Tim Fargo
'The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.' ― Heywood Hale Broun
'One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds.' ― Dan Bennett
'If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich, or you haven't studied the games enough.'— Terrence 'VP Pappy' Murphy
'Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.' ― Seneca
'The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself.' – Nick Dandalos
'Luck always seems to be against the man who depends on it.' ―
Unknown Author
'There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.' – Jack Yelton
'If there weren't luck involved, I would win every time.' – Phil Hellmuth
'A man's gotta make at least one bet a day, else he could be walking around lucky and never know it.' – Jimmy Jones
'The only man who makes money following the races is the one who does it with a broom and shovel.' – Elbert Hubbard
'Gambling is the great leveller. All men are equal at cards.' – Nikolai Gogol
'Gambling with cards or dice or stocks is all one thing. It's getting money without giving an equivalent for it.' – Henry Ward Beecher
'Gambling is an act of faith of gamblers. Prophecy is an act of faith of the saints.' – Toba Beta
'Luck, bad if not good, will always be with us. But it has a way of favoring the intelligent and showing its back to the stupid.' – John Dewey
'Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who say he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker.' – Alfred Alvarez
'There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing.'— French Proverb
'To be a poker champion, you must have a strong bladder.' – Jack McClelland
'A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.' – Artie Lange
'Gambling operates under the premise that greed can be satisfied by luck.' Rita – Mae Brown
'If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun.' – Chico Marx
'A Gentleman is a man who will pay his gambling debts even when he knows he has been cheated.' – Leo Tolstoy
'In order to be a successful gambler you have to have a complete disregard for money.' – Doyle Brunson
'If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game,
the stakes, and the quitting time.' – Chinese Proverb
'You cannot beat a roulette table unless you steal money from it.' – Albert Einstein
'When I was young, people called me a gambler. As the scale of my operations increased I became known as a speculator. Now I am called a banker. But I have been doing the same thing all the time.' – Sir Ernest Cassel
'You don't gamble to win.You gamble so you can gamble the next day.' – Bert Ambrose
'At gambling, the deadly sin is to mistake bad play for bad luck.' – Ian Fleming
'Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.' – Gloria Steinem
'I wonder what inspires gamblers. Is it the adventure or the love of laziness?' – Paul Bamikole
'Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks – It says, Goodbye.' – Frank Sinatra in 'The Joker Is Wild'
'The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.' – Ambrose Bierce
'To get it right, be born with luck or else make it. Never give up. A little money helps, but what really gets it right is never facing the facts.' – Ruth Gordon
'Gambling is a way of buying hope on credit.' – Alan Wykes
'A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned.' – Paul Newman
'Poker is a lot like sex, everyone thinks they are the best, but most don't have a clue what they are doing.' – Dutch Boyd
'I can never gain something without losing everything I had.' – Nadia Scrieva
'The less you bet, the more you lose when you win.' – Bob Nastanovich
'I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.' – Steve Allen
'Gambling is the son of avarice and the father of despair.' – French Proverb
'Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house.'– Tommy Cooper
'If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.' – Benjamin Franklin
'If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.' – Mike McDermott
'Poker is a hard way to make an easy living.' – Doyle Brunson
'All the evidence shows that God was actually quite a gambler, and the universe is a great casino, where dice are thrown, and roulette wheels spin on every occasion.' – Stephen Hawking
'I can't believe that God plays dice with the universe.' – Albert Einstein
'Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I've been winning fortunes, and I've been losing them.' – Jerry Lewis
'In gambling, the many must lose in order that the few may win.' – George Bernard Shaw
'My advice to the unborn is, don't be born with a gambling instinct
unless you have a good sense of probabilities.' – Jack Dreyfus
'One of the worst things that can happen to you in life is to win a bet on a horse
at an early age.' – Danny McGoorty
'No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.' – Bud Flanagan
'In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. The longer they play, the more they lose, and in the end, we get it all.' – Robert De Niro in 'Casino'
'If I had the money and the drinking capacity, I'd probably live at a roulette table and let my life go to hell.' – Michael Ventura
'Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun.' – Lady Gaga
'The slot machines sit there like young courtesans, promising pleasures undreamed of, your deepest desires fulfilled, all lusts satiated.' – Frank Scoblete
'The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines man's natural play instinct with his desire to know about his fate and his future.' – Franz Rosenthal
'At the gambling table, there are no fathers and sons.' – Chinese Proverb
'I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.' – Mitch Hedberg
'I want people to understand, gambling is not a bad thing if you do it within the framework of what it's meant to be, which is fun and entertaining.' – Michael Jordan
'There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.'– Georges Pompidou
'Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.' – Unknown Author
Funny Gambling Quotes
'The best throw of the dice is to throw them away.' – English Proverb
'Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then takes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.' – Mark Twain
'The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.' – George Bernard Shaw
'In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'.' – Jeffrey Bernard
'I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.' – Thomas Jefferson
